The Pirate Planet

Excuse me, are you sure this planet’s meant to be here?

The Fourth Doctor

Synopsis

The Doctor, Romana and K9 face new dangers searching for the second segment to the Key to Time. What has happened to the planet it is hidden on?

Instead of landing on Calufrax as originally intended, they arrive on a different planet and encounter the Mentiads, and the strange Captain.

Review

My childhood was shaped by Douglas Adams’ work and, in particular, the BBC radio show The Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy. Listening to this on long car journeys opened my eyes to science fiction, which was not a genre that I had explored much, if at all, at that age. I think, but am not sure, that I listened to the Hitchhikers’ Guide before I had seen Star Wars, or even watched an episode of Doctor Who.

Take care, Doctor! Your manner only appeals to the homicidal side of my nature!

The Captain

Douglas Adams’ script for The Pirate Planet is absolutely bristling with ideas and humour that appealed to me. The story does get off to a slow start, and is probably not helped by the fact that the story betrays a lack of budget early on – some of those establishing shots show the fact that there are no extras and the establishing shots look especially cheap. The money for the story probably went on the bridge set, which does look fantastic. Adams takes an inventive approach to what seems to be a traditional Doctor Who story, which almost makes the reveal that the final planet that Zanak needs to destroy is Earth, it does ground the story a bit more. What Adams also does is ensure that there is enough plot to pace out developments well. This allows the cliffhangers to work well, and the audience are accordingly kept on their toes as they don’t know where the story will go. This meant that The Pirate Planet kept me engaged for the entirety of its four parts. It’s easy to see why he was offered the opportunity to be script editor following this story, however, it came at a time when his other work was starting to take off. The central idea of the story, a planet that goes around destroying others for the sake of the minerals, unbeknownst to the inhabitants, is a great central premise.

Where The Pirate Planet falls down is the fact that Adams does seem to throw every idea possible at this story. It almost feels as though he does so as he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get the chance to do so again. The Mentiads, the telepathic people who live on the planet certainly suffer as a result. It’s a classic problem, and I’m sure one that we will see happen again. The story also struggles with budget limitations, but there are some lovely bits too – the sequences in the time dam for instance.

It’s impossible to talk about The Pirate Planet without talking about the Captain played by Bruce Purchase. It is certainly an over the top performance, but I don’t think it’s possible to play the Captain any other way. The Captain has dialogue which needs to be delivered in a particular way, and it’s not exactly subtle. The relationship between the Captain and Mr Fibuli is rather nice though and does feel very lived in. When Fibuli dies, the Captain shows genuine humanity and sorrow. He is also more than the blustering exterior, plotting to take down Xanxia. Speaking of Xanxia, the story deals with her well. The Captain’s nurse enters the story without much fuss being made, so the reveal that she is a near corporeal hologram of the dying Queen works really well, even if she is dealt with rather too quickly.

It’s an economic miracle! Of course it’s wrong.

The Fourth Doctor

Tom Baker seems to relish being in a Douglas Adams’ story and especially in his scenes with the Pirate Captain really shines. Baker has one of those personalities that automatically draws your eye to him, and The Pirate Planet is no exception. The speech he has about the Captain keeping the remnants of the destroyed planets is a standout moment from this story. Mary Tamm is also good in this, and the relationship between her and the Doctor shows real promise. Romana being a Time Lady means that the Doctor doesn’t have to explain everything to her, but she does not have the experience that the Doctor has. This means that she is able to get the locals to speak to her more easily than the Doctor, and knows how the Doctor works – pinch his jelly babies!

Verdict: The Pirate Planet sees Douglas Adams make his debut on the show in a clever and complex story that never loses pace. 8/10

Cast: Tom Baker (The Doctor), Mary Tamm (Romana), John Leeson (Voice of K9), Bruce Purchase (The Captain), Andrew Robertson (Mr Fibuli), Ralph Michael (Balaton), David Sibley (Pralix), David Warwick (Kimus), Primi Townsend (Mula), Clive Bennett (Citizen), Bernard Finch (Mentiad), Adam Kurakin (Guard) & Rosalind Lloyd (Nurse).

Writer: Douglas Adams

Director: Pennant Roberts

Producer: Graham Williams

Music: Dudley Simpson

Parts: 4

Original Release Date: 30 September – 21 October 1978

Behind the Scenes

• This story had the working titles of The Pirates and The Perfect Planet.
• Whilst working on The Pirate Planet, Douglas Adams sold his radio play The Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy to the BBC.
• The Doctor’s accident, in which he hits his face on the TARDIS console, was designed to provide an explanation for Tom Baker’s cut lip, caused by a dog bite.

Cast Notes

• David Sibley would go on to play the Eminence in numerous Big Finish stories, including Destroy the Infinite, Time’s Horizon and The Seeds of War.
• David Warwick played a Police Commissioner in Army of Ghosts, and has also appeared in a number of Big Finish stories, including The Harvest, Power Play and Temmosus.

Best Moment

I really like the moment where the Captain sends his guards out to capture the Doctor, only for him to step onto the bridge as the door opens.

Best Quote

I’m gratified that you appreciate it.

Appreciate it? Appreciate it! You commit mass destruction and murder on a scale that’s almost inconceivable, and you ask me to appreciate it?! Just because you happen to have made a brilliantly-conceived toy out of the mummified remains of planets!

Devilstorms, Doctor… It is not a toy!

Then what’s it for?! Huh? What are you doing? What could possibly be worth all this?

The Captain and the Fourth Doctor

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